- also known as: Mrs. Pervazoid #1
- Dan's wife may spend most of the recording time of the podcast off in the other room scowling at the Floppers, however, she will give someone a high-five for any appearance of Three Boobs on camera. She will also scowl during this high-five.
- Episode 125: Smiley @45:15
Dan: I have to report with sadness that my wife looks much cuter in the hat that you knitted than I do. But that's probably just real life. Stuart: I mean, yeah, shouldn't that make you happy that your wife looks cuter than you? Dan: Yeah, I'll take it. Elliott: I hate to break it to you, Dan — Dan: What? Elliott: Your wife is cuter than you. Dan: Yeah. Stuart: I'm assuming she looks better in most articles of clothing than you do. Elliott: In pretty much anything. Dan: I mean, you're gentlemen — Elliott: Or nothing at all...? Stuart: Wow! Dan: I mean, I thought you were a gentleman, until you said that. Elliott: I figured, give Dan a taste of his own medicine. Dan: Hey. Elliott: I'm giving you a taste of your medicine. Stuart: Hoisted by his own... Dan: I don't care. Elliott: ... perv-tard. Stuart: ... butt-tard. Elliott: "Butt-tard"! Dan: I really, genuinely don't care. I appreciate your appreciation. Elliott: Anyway... now you made me feel gross. Stuart: The way you say "I don't care" makes it weird. Dan: I don't — Elliott: Now you made me feel really gross. Dan: No, it's fine. Elliott: This was supposed to be... you were supposed to be mad, and then — Dan: Not mad. Elliott: — instead, you were too open and it made me feel gross. Dan: I'm glad that you, I'm glad that you feel that way. Elliott: No. Don't. Okay, let's stop. Dan: Thanks, Elliott. Elliott: Stop. I don't like it. Dan: Good work. Stuart: Gross. Elliott: This became like that scene in Computer Chess where the, that swinger couple tries to get the one chess player to have sex with them. And I don't like that.
- Episode 163: Dracula 3D @1:03:00