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Episode 117: Seeking Justice

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aka: Seeking Just Ice

TagEdit

"Merry Cagemas, and a Floppy new year!"

Movie SummaryEdit

PremiseEdit

After his wife is brutally raped, high school English teacher Will Gerard (Nicolas Cage with a van dyke) is reluctantly drawn into a secretive and unimaginably labor-intensive ring of coerced amateur assassins run by "Simon" (a bald Guy Pearce).

StoryEdit

Gerard:

  • Purchases two particular nutrition bars from a specific vending machine in the hospital oncology wing. @17:30
  • Purchases some gum from a neighborhood grocery store. @26:35
  • Carries a letter addressed to Santa Claus to the local zoo. @29:10
  • Mostly-accidentally kills his assigned target. @45:30
  • Gets suspended for hitting a student. @47:15
  • Gets arrested for (kinda) murdering that guy, who it turns out was an investigative reporter for the local newspaper. @48:45
  • Snoops around in the dead guy's desk. @1:11:00
  • Breaks into the dead journalist's storage unit and grabs a DVD. @1:17:10
  • Arranges for Simon to attend a monster truck rally at the Superdome. @1:28:05
  • Instructs Simon to "take a leak." @1:30:40
  • Instructs Simon to purchase a hot dog. @1:31:00

"The Hungry Rabbit Jumps"Edit

The magic phrase is uttered sixteen times:
01:00, 21:45, 29:50 (twice), 32:10, 34:05 (twice), 53:20 (twice), 1:21:45, 1:25:40 (thrice), 1:26:55, 1:27:25, 1:39:35

Final JudgmentsEdit

  • Bad-Bad Movie (Elliott) @37:45
  • Bad-Bad Movie (Stuart) @38:10
­Any time you have Nicolas Cage in a movie, you're really hoping you get a Crazy Cage. Not like, kinda, the sad Drive Angry 3D Nicolas Cage.
     —Stuart @38:25
­If you are thinking about watching Seeking Justice, don't. Go see Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans, which is total Crazy Cage.
     —Elliott @38:45
  • Marginal Good-Bad Movie (Dan) @39:05

Episode HighlightsEdit

People Known to Be Evil @10:35Edit

  • Keith Ablow
  • Michael Chiklis
  • Mr. Clean
  • Dr. Freeze (from that Batman movie)
  • Christopher Lloyd (in the Addams Family movies)
  • Lex Luthor
  • Montel Williams

Movie PitchesEdit

  • El Saw @1:06:35
­Would you like to play a game? You have to eat your way out of this enchilada in five minutes, or eat your own leg, señor.
     —Mexican Jigsaw
  • Howard the DuckTales @47:30

QuotesEdit

  • ­The point of this movie is that this vigilante monster gets a commission from all the candy he sells.
         —Elliott @14:35

Listener MailEdit

Mailbag Song @40:20
"ATTN: Cool Uncle Stu" from unknown @40:40
Regarding the ass cancer episode.
"Free David Kalan." @43:05
"Total Recall Through the Flop House Synopsis" from Jim Strayer @44:00
The ending of Space Jail (also starring Guy Pearce) is discussed.
"Will Our Prayers Be Finally Answered?" from Stefan Lastnamewithheld @46:10
Discussing directions for a possible Howard the DuckTales project at Disney, parrallels between Scrooge McDuck and Bane. @47:30
"Full Shame and Loathing" from Pat Lastnamewithheld @49:00
Regarding Meet the Spartans and The Love Guru.

RecommendationsEdit

  • The Bank Job (2008) by Roger Donaldson (Dan) @1:02:25
  • Circuitry Man (1990) by Steven Lovy (Stuart) @1:00:20
  • The Invisible Maniac (1990) by Adam Rifkin (Stuart) @59:05
  • Reds (1981) by Warren Beatty (Elliott) @1:03:20
  • Split Second (1992) by Tony Maylam (Stuart) @1:00:35

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