Dan: On this episode we discuss Jem and the Holograns.
Elliott: Dan, I notice you went out of your way not to say Jim and the Holograms as your accent would normally do.
Stuart: Or Jam and the Holograms
Elliott: Which sounds delicious.
Dan: But that means I said "holograms" kinda weird.
Elliott: Yeah, it does.
Dan: 'Cause I was concentrating on the first part.

Official Show NotesEdit

"Don’t worry — we took your boring story about a magical rock-star-making computer and turned it into a thrilling story about YouTube. We talk Jem and the Holograms. Meanwhile, Elliott has a surprisingly deep knowledge of failed Internet concerns, Stuart reveals the hidden bonds between Seal and Salman Rushdie, and Dan is totally blazed."

Movie SummaryEdit


Jem! Jem is excitment! Ooh ooh Jem! Jem is adventure! Ooh ooh! Glamor and glitter, fashion and fame! Jem! Jem is truly outrageous! Truly truly truly outrageous! Whoa Jem! Jem! The music's contagious outrageous! Jem is my name, no one else is the same! Jem is my... But we're the Misfits! Our songs are better! We are the Misfits! The Misfits! And we're going to get her! But we're the Misfits! Our songs are better! We are the Misfits! The Misfits! And we're going to get her! Jem! Jem is truly outrageous, contagious! Jem is my name, no one else is the same! Jem is my name! Jem!


­That robot is having too much fun.
     —Elliott @19:03
­Is [Jem] merely the next Madonna or the next Christ?
     —Elliott @26:54

Final JudgmentsEdit

  • Bad-Bad Movie (Dan) @41:34
  • Bad-Bad Movie (Stuart) @41:57
  • Bad-Bad Movie (Elliott) @43:25

Episode HighlightsEdit


  • Garth Algar @00:57
  • 4/20 @01:56, @01:20:23
  • Stuart Wellington: Snack Detective @03:26
  • Cartoons of the 1980s @05:16
  • Dinosaurs @07:17
  • Misfits @08:40
  • Classic Rolling Rock commercials @12:37
  • Animation company logos @13:18
  • Elliott names everything you can do on the internet @15:22
    • Pinteresting, Periscoping, Instagramming, YouTubing, Porn Hubbing, Pets dot comming, Stamps dot comming, Soaps dot comming, White House dot govving, Wikipedia dot orgging, Podcasting, Yahooing, Lycosing, Asking Jeeves, Angel Firing, Geocitiesing, Netscaping, Landscaping, Newsgrouping, Wreck dot art dot whatevering, Prodigying, Dark netting, America Onlining, You've got mailing, Tom Hanks and Meg Ryaning
  • Garth face @16:25
  • Albert Einstein's failed novelist career @17:41
  • Daniel Webster @19:49
  • Wilson: Man or Volleyball-man? @21:50
  • Archie @23:59, @01:21:06
  • Dharma & Greg @24:27
  • Bands that sound like other bands @28:13
    • Andrew Jackson, David Eno, Stung, The Pawlice, The Pollies, Blues Trapper, The Rolling Scones, Milly Joel, Led Zepballoon, Led Zeppoli
  • Penthouse presents: A Midsummer Night's Dream @31:25
  • Batman movies @34:59
    • The Dark Knight Detective, Batman, Batman Again, Batman 2, Batman?! What?!, Another Batman, Still Battin' It, Battin' 2: Electric Bataloo, Batman vs. Megalon, Batman & the Temple of Bats, Batman Meets Howard the Duck Part 3: Revenge of Spock, Batman: Back in Bat, Bat to the Future: The Batman Chronicles, Major League: Batman's on the Team Now, Night Bat, Bat Night, Oh Man, It's a Bat!, Is That Batman? No It's Not. Oh Wait, Yes It Is: The Movie, Alice in Batmanland, Hey! Look Behind You! It's Batman., Batman The Movie: The Movie, Ratman, Bratman, Scatman
  • Kids @36:39
  • Seal "Seal of Approval" & Salman "Premium Rush" Rushdie: BFFs @38:49
  • Smash Cut @40:04
  • 88 Minutes @41:36
  • Stuart has come down with McCoy's Syndrome @44:53, @46:42
  • Gooby @52:27
  • The 200th episode @53:28
  • Seabiscuit @55:00
  • "Creamin' your jeans" @55:37
  • Disney's The Kid @01:11:05
  • Sleepy Dreams @01:12:42
    • Elliott: "I'm gonna dream that we're all in a rock and roll band, but the lead singer is my toddler son. He's the biggest sensation superstar but I still have to cut up his food for him."
    • Dan: "I'm going to dream that we live inside the sandwich that a giant eats. It's going to be very scary."

Movie PitchesEdit

A new Batman movie in which Scatman Crothers sidles up to muggers in an alley, says, "You know, I was in The Shining" and then beats them up. His only weakness is an axe to the stomach. @35:58
The Squimps (TV show)
Elliott's highly marketable '80s children's animated show. However, since the Squimps are all sexual predators, the show can't be near children. Coming to YouTube. @05:42


­That's a fact about a thing that is true. That's what a fact is.
     —Dan @14:11
­If [for a password] you're gonna do 'Stuart,' use like a dollar sign instead of an 'S' and a 'v' instead of a 'u' and like five exclamation points because Stuart's worth it.
     —$tvart!!!!! @32:57
­Damn you for touching my secret pain!
     —Dan @36:43
­Very often, the producers of huge franchises like Transformers or G.I. Joe will say, 'Yeah, let's cross over with a flop of a movie!' It's the same reason that the Spiderman movies crossed over with I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry.
     —Elliott @40:56
­This is a perfect episode. No flubs, no jubs.
     —Stuart @01:18:46

Listener MailEdit

Actual GiftsEdit

  • Care package from Stacy Edwards @57:13
  • H.P. Lovecraft movies from Andrew Lastnamewithheld @57:17
  • The Boogens blu-ray from Krang the Emboobened @57:32
  • Ben Newman's new book from Ben Newman @57:53
  • No Escape DVD from Adam Goldberg @58:13
  • A signed and framed Masters of Horror poster, a signed copy of Talking Heads: 77 and a signed picture of Groucho Marx from Eric North @58:32
  • A signed picture of Orlando Bloom and Kirsten Dunst in Elizabethtown from Nathan Rabin @59:20

Mailbag SongEdit



(untitled) from Ethan Lastnamewithheld @01:00:14
A listener with some medical knowledge reveals that you can actually have a wormy boner and asks how a script can avoid the pitfalls of becoming bad-bad, or even good-bad.
(untitled) from Craig Countrywithheld @01:04:59
A Scottish listener compliments the Floppers' accent work, so naturally they talk about DuckTales in Russian accents.
(untitled) from Ryan Lastnamewithheld @01:06:30
The B-plot to the episode of Saved by the Bell where Zach learns he's 1/64th Native American is bonkers.
(untitled) from Charlie Lastnamewithheld @01:09:37
A request for Flop House room rates from the Little Tramp.


  • Slow West (2015) by John Maclean (Stuart) @01:13:41
  • Miller's Crossing (1990) by Joel & Ethan Coen (Dan) @01:15:06
  • Cria Cuervos (1976) by Carlos Saura (Elliott) @01:16:45

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