The Cold Shower Award
Awarded To  Sucker Punch
For  Being the movie that made even Pervazoid #1 ashamed of thinking dirty thoughts.


"After our week off, we return with the very definition of an unpleasant surprise: we discuss Sucker Punch."

Website BlurbEdit

"We return from our extended Independence Day break with one of our dumbest movies yet, Sucker Punch, which combines the attention span of a toddler with the sophisticated sexuality of a 13-year-old. Meanwhile, Dan reveals some disturbing personal cartoon magazine-related habits, Elliott discovers a new love for felines, and Stuart inspires our readers to raise their voices about his voice."

Movie SummaryEdit

It's like Zack Snyder saw Kill Bill and said, "That's good, but I'd like it to be much dumber, involve a lot of fetishization and almost-rapes, and have a ridiculously dumb "message" that supposedly makes the whole thing about "empowerment."



Worse ThanEdit

Final JudgmentsEdit

  • Bad-Bad Movie (Stuart) @32:15
  • Bad-Bad Movie (Dan) @32:15
  • Bad-Bad Movie (Elliott) @33:45

Episode HighlightsEdit


  • Elliott describes walking around his workplace, wearing a Cobra Commander costume. @01:00
  • The Floppers repeatedly mispronounce the title.
    • Smuckers Bunch @06:45
    • Skucker Bunch @19:45
    • Skucker Munch @23:20
    • Pucker Bunch @26:40
    • Pucker Snutch @26:45
    • Gucker Glutch @26:45
    • Naked Lunch @26:45
  • The Flop-Men imagine Peter Weller teaching RoboCop 101 @26:55
Stuart: Peter Weller woulda made a good mystic shaman character.
Elliott: Oh, sure, yeah. If he wasn't busy getting his grad degree.
Dan: I thought he was a teacher, I don't think he —
Elliott: I thought he was studying.
Dan: No, uh...
Elliott: What is he teaching? RoboCop? Come on.
Stuart: How to be a RoboCop. Step one...
Elliott: RoboCop 101.
Dan: Step one: have a holster in your leg.
Elliott: You all failed.
Dan: Look to your left, look to your right. Both of you failed. You don't have holsters in your legs.
Elliott: Okay, today we're going to focus on eating baby food.
Dan: RoboCop 101. Pretty tough class.
Elliott: Yeah. Nobody gets to RoboCop 102.
Dan: No one, no one wants Professor Weller.
Stuart: I mean, unless you're already a RoboCop.
Elliott: It's a tough class. Professor Weller is a hard grader. Does not give pass/fail grades.
Dan: But a great, but a great class.
Elliott: ED-209: You've got potential. I got my eye on you.

Movie PitchesEdit

  • The Red Stu Diaries @34:55


  • ­Actually, in the original draft of The Fifth Element, the fifth element was chalk.
         —Elliott @16:05
Dan: The weird thing about like watching this movie is how dirty it makes me feel. Like, when I've seen much dirtier things. But I feel like —
Elliott: I mean, you're a disgusting person.
Dan: Sure. I'm a terrible person. I'm a terrible human being. But like, like there's a certain honesty in just like being like, this is like a fetish, the thing presented. Whereas this movie is like, we're gonna put a bunch of people in fetish gear and have a bunch of almost rapes, but we're gonna, you know, you know, pretend like it's a tale of empowerment and redemption.
  • ­We were watching the movie, and then Stuart said: 'Hey, look at that cat!' And we saw Dan's cat was just lying on the kitchen floor, and I for about three minutes just watched the cat. And like my enjoy — If I had had one of those dials where you choose 'Like' or 'Dislike', I would have turned it way to 'Like', and then back to 'Dislike' when my eyes went back to the movie again.
         —Elliott @32:55
Dan: As I said during the movie: This is not the most boring movie we've watched, but it is the stupidest movie we've watched.
Elliott: Yeah. It may be the stupidest movie I've ever seen.

Listener MailEdit

Mailbag SongEdit



"People that sound like other people" from Jeremiah Lastnamewithheld @36:45

- the writer envisions Mo Rocca as Elliott, Jason Segel as Dan, and Seth Rogen as Stuart.
- no one is the most pleased with these comparisons
"Mail Title" from Ethan Lastnamewithheld @39:05
- they say Stuart's name is super fancy, and that they should play up the rivalry between the peaches and "how did this get made?" more
"Thanks and two requests" from Listener Lastnamewithheld @42:36

"Animal wrangling" from  Lastnamewithheld @47:32


  • The Castle of Cagliostro (1979) by Hayao Miyazaki (Stuart) @Time
  • Deadline at Dawn (1946) by Harold Clurman (Elliott) @Time
  • Tangled (2010) by Nathan Greno, Byron Howard (Dan) @Time

Mentioned InEdit