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Episode 96: Dream House

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"In this episode we discuss the TLC home makeover show Dream House. That's what this thing's about, right?"

Movie SummaryEdit



Final JudgmentsEdit

  • Bad-Bad Movie (Stuart) @30:40
  • Bad-Bad Movie (Dan) @31:25
  • Bad-Bad Movie (Elliott) @32:20

Episode HighlightsEdit

Elliott reveals Stuart has an evil twin; Stuuuart. The only man who can replace the real Stu, but has a goatee. @0:45

Starring, oh, who's that? 'Ello, 'Ello, 'Ello, it's me, Daniel Cra-ya-ig. Bob's yer uncle, chimeneysweep, butterybread!

For all that the cast is generally good, this movie is not really good. Stuart suggests more boobs, which I believe is a suggestion Stuart would make for every movie. Also, Dan suggests a new movie to go with Fivehead Goes West, called Fievel Goes Crazy.

And there's a rather long digression that somehow leads to the Cryptkeeper's nonexistent privates. Dan has the LONGEST giggle fit about this. He literally turns into a 8 year old, which literally makes him shit out of luck.


  • Dan having his softcore dreams come true getting a copy of The Bikini Carwash Company. @27:45
  • An oddly detailed discussion about Stuart and Dan lending each other porn DVDs and making sure the movie doesn't start up right at the wank scene.
  • Elliott losing an eBay auction for a 1939 World's Fair RCA booth card. @29:00
  • Baby-lon 8
  • Elliott's nickname giving conventions - ie. Branielle, or Gluart (also the name of Elliott's horse)
  • Dan's Shoes @27:45
  • Fantasizing about Daniel Craig having sex with his wife, Rachel Weisz.
  • Movie idea: "Scream Mouse - Fievel Goes Crazy"
  • Tijuana Bibles
    • Mobsters giving Blondie a good rogering while Dagwood watches.
    • Garfield fucking lasagna while Odie chokes. @43:40

Final JudgementsEdit

  • 3 for 3 with Bad-Bad Movie (@30:40)

Movie PitchesEdit

  • Scream Mouse It's like Scream, but with mice. @30:00


  • ­I'm pretty sure you're with me, Dan. This entire movie could have been spiced up with a little bit of nudity. [...] So — shower scenes, beach volleyball that goes wrong and tops come off...
         —Stuart @26:25
  • ­What the fuck did you say about my mom?
         —Stuart @27:30

Listener MailEdit

"You Know What You Did (You Made My Night!)" from Firstnamewithheld Maxwell @35:05
Regarding the live screening of Marmaduke.
"I Wish All the Movies I Watch Featured Commentary by You Three" from Danny Patrick Lastnamewithheld @37:05
Regarding the live screening of 12 Rounds.
"Concerns for Dan's Safety" from Matt Lastnamewithheld @39:50
Dan is a bear + Stuart's fantasy of killing a bear with a blowtorch = OH MY GOD, STUART WANTS TO KILL DAN! Flamethrowers at dawn, gentlemen.
Pervazoid #1 @41:50
Episode 35: Fireproof @41:50
"Thanks for 2011" from Brian Lastnamewithheld @46:00


  • The Chaser (2008) by Na Hong-jin (Elliott) @56:10
  • The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011) by David Fincher (Dan) @53:05
  • Ironclad (2011) by Jonathan English (Stuart) @50:15
­If you like watching a movie set in the Middle Ages, where a bunch of dudes hit each other in the head with axes and their heads totally explode, and Brian Cox gets both of his hands chopped off before being thrown against a wall with a trebuchet...

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