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Episode 97: Awards Floptacular 2012

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Episode Ninety-Seven: Awards Floptacular 2012
Stuscar
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Hosts

Dan, Elliott, Stuart

Date published

4 March 2012

Podcast Time

70 minutes

Previous

Dream House

Next

In Time

As you might expect, the episode begins with a colossal digression into words that sound like other words.

The Oscar CeremonyEdit

It was super boring, and worse than last year's.
Not to be confused with The Garbies.

The MoviesEdit

The FloppiesEdit

For the first time, Dan, Stuart and Elliott give out their own awards to people and movies from the last year of the Flop House. Elliott called them the Flopcademy Flop Flop Flop Awards. The trophies are in the shape of golden floppie disks.
Actor That Sounds Most Like A Car Part
Cam Gigandet (Dan)
Shredded Like Lettuce Award
Cam Gigandet (Dan)
Josh Hartnett Memorial Award for Most Irritating Squint
Cam Gigandet (Dan)
Best Audience Sympathy Role-Reversal
Green Lantern
For making an audience of nerds have to sympathize with a handsome jock who is about to beat up a brainiac in a wheelchair. (Elliott)
Most Erotic Fully-Clothed Sexual Performance
Nicolas Cage in Drive Angry 3D (Stuart)
Angriest Driving
Nicolas Cage in Drive Angry 3D (Elliott)
Cagiest Cage
Nicolas Cage in Trespass (Dan)
Best Hair
Nicolas Cage in all of them.
The trophy for this one has a hideous wig on it. (Elliott)
Most Believable English Accent In A Totally Terrible Movie
Danny McBride and James Franco in Your Highness
Least Fun I Had Watching A Movie Award
Your Highness (Stuart)
Movie That Was Most Sold On The Presence Of A Butt In It
Your Highness (Elliott)
Golden Sieve Award for Movie I Forgot I Watched
Beastly (Dan)
Skyline (Stuart)
Skyline (Elliott)
Best Actor
Gary Oldman in Red Riding Hood (Elliott)
Lifetime Achievement Award for Longest Movie Ever Watched For the Flop House
The Happiest Millionaire (Stuart)
Paul Walker Award for Being A Black Hole of Charisma
Alex Pettyfer in I Am Number Four and Beastly (Dan)
Best Twists Most Twists
Trespass (Elliott)
Flop House Movie That Had the Least Limits
The Roommate, in a huge upset. (Stuart)
Special Achievement in Hats
The Roommate (Elliott)
The "What If Penny Met A Dinosaur?" Award for Strangest Premise
Gooby (Dan)
Awarded earlier at the Flop House Technical Awards, hosted by Amanda Bynes.
Best Commercial for T.G.I. Fridays Disguised As A Movie
Zookeeper (Elliott)
The Cold Shower Award
Sucker Punch
The movie that made even Pervazoid #1 ashamed of thinking dirty thoughts. (Dan)
Best Supporting Actor
Eric Zuckerman in My Soul To Take (Elliott)
Best Picture of the Year
(drumroll)
It's...
Tango & Cash!
For the 22nd time in a row, Tango & Cash takes home the big prize! (Elliott)

LettersEdit

One Flop House fan in the great city of Minneapolis offers a fifty-seat theater in Minneapolis for the Peaches to hold a live event. Another Flop-fan in Washington, DC, tells the story of how he met his girlfriend by giving her the gift of Flop (specifically, the Conan episode).

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