"It's the long-awaited Roger Ebert tribute episode."
Website Blurb[]
Ebert was right about you.
Movie Summary[]
“I'm a commercial actress. Now I would like to be a respected one.” —Demi Moore [1]
Warning to Students[]
“Not very many people have read the book.” —Demi Moore [2]
If you planned on watching this film adaptation for your English Lit. class instead of actually reading the 1850 Nathaniel Hawthorne novel, Know Ye This. The movie is a particularly notorious hatchet job. The story and characters are almost completely different. You will flunk the test.
Premise[]
A headstrong, nonconforming Puritan colonist with an absent husband is persecuted by her sexually-repressed community for becoming pregnant by a life-affirming extramarital affair. Things only get worse when she refuses to name the father.
Story[]
What if Nathaniel Hawthorne had written a trashy romance novel? It might have looked something like this.
Ending[]
“So we changed the ending of the book. It doesn't matter. The book is not cinematic. We wanted a satisfying ending to a very tragic story. I don't want to walk away unsatisfied.” —Demi Moore [3]
Love triumphs over adversity!
Final Judgments[]
Roger Ebert's contemporaneous review of the film (paraphrasing here): it sucks ass.
The continuing adventures of previously supporting characters Fake Beard and Wide Hat. AKA The Scarlet Letter 2: Scarlet Again and The Scarlet Letter 2: Letter B.
Quotes[]
“Why couldn't we have watched Blue Velvet?” —Elliott @2:48
“Real hair looks fake on camera.” —Dan @13:36
“Something else gets stuck in a mud hole later.” —Stuart @17:00
