Tag[]
- "On this episode we discuss the film Transformers: Age of Extinction. AKA, The One Without Shia LaBeouf."
Website Blurb[]
- We will never watch anything with nearly three hour bloat again, so enjoy the special snowflake that is us discussing the most recent installment of Bayhem, Transformers: Age of Extinction. Meanwhile, Elliott explains how to find a Transformer's clitoris, Stuart keeps on Castle Freakin' on, and sleepy Dan (sort of) returns.
Movie Summary[]
Premise[]
- When humanity allies with a bounty hunter in pursuit of Optimus Prime, the Autobots turn to a mechanic and his family for help.
Story[]
- After an epic battle, a great city lies in ruins, but the Earth itself is saved. As humanity begins to pick up the pieces, a shadowy group emerges to try to take control of history. Meanwhile, an ancient and powerful new menace sets its sights on Earth. A new group of humans, led by Cade Yeager, helps Optimus Prime and the Autobots rise up to meet their most fearsome challenge yet: a worldwide war of good versus evil.
Final Judgments[]
- “For like an hour and twenty minutes, I was like, 'This is kinda stupid fun' because like... here's the thing about Michael Bay. Like, he makes terrible movies but there's something about his bombast I sometimes find charming. [...] There's something kind of charming about that for a while, like listening to, like, a John Philip Sousa march, but you don't wanna hear like three fucking hours of a Sousa march at top volume. With Michael Bay you're hearing the same Sousa march for three hours. ”
—Bad-Bad Movie (Dan) @44:35
- “This movie reaches a level of stupid that I found very entertaining to make fun of. But it's long, so you'd have to watch it in like three pieces.”
— If watched in three pieces it would be a Good-Bad movie (Elliott) @46:35
- “This is basically like a three-hour long movie trailer [...] It doesn't really make any sense, and it ends up not even being that much fun.”
— Bad-Bad Movie (Stuart) @47:05
Episode Highlights[]
- Dinoswords @07:45
- your favourite Transformers like Swimbox, Crunchflakes, Juicebox, Dr Transforms-a-lot @29:00
- Kelsey Grammer's storied career @31:45
- Final Judgments @44:30
- Ad Break @47:25
- Santa Clause's Viking Funeral @55:40
- Recommendations @1:02:50
Quotes[]
Stuart: It is the website of choice of the Real Flop House Wives of Kings County's Book Club. Elliott: Hey. Dan: Oh yeah? What are you... what are those House Wives reading right now, do you know? Stuart: I dunno, something my wife's complaining about. Dan: Okay. Elliott: It's a Meg Wolitzer novel. Dan: Alright. Elliott: Uh, and — That I think my wife chose, and the other wives are not happy about.
- —@48:00
Ad Break[]
Sponsors[]
- Audible @47:40
- Squarespace @49:15
- Comingle's Open Source Dildo @50:00
- “It's a Sex-ortunity”
—Dan @54:25
- “It's a Sex-ortunity”
Maximum Fun[]
- International Waters @1:11:55
Listener Questions[]
Mailbag Song[]
- In Lieu of Letters @55:15->@55:30
Fan Gifts[]
- Stuart: An anatomically correct (?) Castle Freak figurine from Brian Lastnamewithheld @56:20
- Alan Ruck-wrapped gifts from Kevin Brady @57:50
- Dan: Andy Sidaris movies
- Elliott: Abraham Lincoln Bandaids
- Stuart: novelty Cthulhu bottle opener
Recommendations[]
- Winter Light (1963) by Ingmar Bergman (Elliott) @1:02:35
- Z (1969) by Costa-Gavras (Dan) @1:04:30
- Rock n Roll Nightmare (1988) by John Fasano (Stuart) @1:06:20