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McCoy's Law of Film Nudity

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McCoy's LawEdit

­If there's no nudity in the first 20 minutes of a movie, there's generally not going to be any nudity.
     —Dan, Episode 163: Dracula 3D @11:00


Dan: Speaking of boobs, like this movie resembles nothing more than a soft core porn film. Like, in its even lighting and its digital cinematography.
Elliott: And bad acting, everything was wooden. But, and yet there's a surprisingly small amount of nudity in it.
Dan: "Small"? I mean, compared to your average modern film, there's a ton of nudity in it.
Elliott: I mean, compared to a softcore porn film though.
Stuart: Sure.
Elliott: I mean, but it's a movie that — it has, it has enough nudity that you expect more, but not so much nudity... not so little nudity where you're like, "Oh, okay. This is a classy movie but they made a choice to have nudity." It feels like an exploitation movie where they, halfway through they were like, "Right, the nudity! Well, we'll put it in later." And they forgot to put it back in.
Dan: Also, the nudity dries up like about halfway through the movie, which —
Elliott: Yeah, we thought there'd be a rich vein of nudity. So we start panning for nudity, and yet it dried up. We gotta go mine somewhere else.
Dan: It reminds me, it reminded me of —
Stuart: "Gonna have to go west!"
Elliott: "Used to be a lot of nudity in this town, but the nudity dried up. Just a ghost town now. People picked up stakes."
Dan: "Used to be, you could go down the street and just pick up boobs from the ground!"
Elliott: "It's a gusher!"
Dan: No, but, like it reminded —
Elliott: "Dip your net in the lake, come up with butts! Not anymore. We overfished the nudity. Nothin' left."
Dan: "Now you gotta farm raise the nudity." No, but this reminded me —
Elliott: "That's why we here at the Nudity Conservation Corps, we're all about sustainable nudity. We only, we — look, for every nudity we pluck, we plant two more."
Dan: This reminded me, though, of a rule that I discovered when I was a young man desperate to see naked ladies, in the era before the Internet.
Elliott: Was that: when you're looking in the TV Guide, don't look for "nudity", look for "sexual situations"?
Dan: Well, no. That's, that's good. That's a good rule of thumb. I discovered that one. But also, my rule of thumb was basically: If there's no nudity in the first 20 minutes of a movie, there's generally not going to be any nudity.
Elliott: Interesting. So that's McCoy's Law.
Dan: That's McCoy's Law.
Elliott: McCoy's Law of Film Nudity.
Dan: Write it down, thirteen-year-olds who (for some reason) don't have the Internet.

CorollaryEdit

from Episode 195: The Golden Child @11:30
Elliott: Any adult would get bored with the movie [Just One of the Guys] and stop watching before the end, and be like "Eh, we can put this on during the day. There's no boobs in this."
Dan: Yeah.
Elliott: … missing the part at the end with the aforementioned twice boob.
Dan: That's how you sneak 'em in. A little tip.
Elliott: Filmmakers of the future —
Dan: Put 'em in at the very end.
Elliott: if you're trying to get kids to see a movie with boobs in it, put 'em at the end.
Dan: I don't know why you're doing it. Seems kinda creepy!

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