Knee Injuries 😭 Heiter severs the knee ligaments of his victims.
- Episode 63: From Paris With Love @45:45
- Episode 72: Killers
- Episode 141: Last Ounce of Courage @51:10
- Episode 226: Max Steel @05:45
Flop House Human CentipedeEdit
Dan: Really, poop is the highest form of food — 'cause it's the last form! Elliott: It's been through the most amazing process of all: the human stomach. Stuart: Yeah. Dan's making his pitch to the middle person in a human centipede. Elliott: Because Dan doesn't want to be the Middle or the Back! So he's like: No no no, I'm taking the hit by being the Front! I'm missing out on all this good poop! Stuart: I'm giving you the good stuff! Elliott: Look, you're getting the nutrients from me, too! Dan: So you're assuming that I wouldn't want to be the — I'd prefer to be the Back, because I'd be getting less poop at that point. Elliott: No, I think you're telling the Back and the — I think you're getting more poop in the back. Dan: Really? I don't think so. I think that you got the most poop in the middle, and then the guy in the middle absorbs some of that — Elliott: No. No. Poop is the shit, literally, that your body's not absorbing. Dan: Yeah. Elliott: It's not nutrients or useful. Once the poop gets to the Middle, there's so little nutrients in that. You gotta believe the Middle is pooping all of that stuff — Dan: Plus extra? Where's that coming from? Elliott: — plus the blood and stuff that he's pooping out because he's not nourished properly. And that's going in your mouth, Dan, as the back one. So if you want to be the back one of this Flop House human centipede, go ahead. I don't want that job. I'll take the Front, thank you very much. I'll take that hit. Dan: Everyone wants the Front! Stuart: No, not you, dude! You totally want to have your face buried in my delicious ass! Elliott: I'll tell you this: do I want the feel of one of your stubbly faces rubbing against my anus? No I don't! And yet I'm willing to take that sacrifice by getting in front. Stuart: I told you I would shave, dude! Elliott: Okay, I appreciate that you would shave before we're centipeded. Apparently this is a scheduled thing that we can prep for ahead of time. And then we're, what? Going to the hospital together to get it done, like a planned c-section?
But, Dan: if you want to be in the back, and not have your butt violated by another person's face, go ahead. I'll take that hit. You can be the Back, and Stu you can be the Middle, and have all the affection that comes from being in between your two closest friends.
Stuart: So, what? Like, this is a couple of minutes in? That's when people are clicking UNSUBSCRIBE and DELETE? Elliott: Now I'm just thinking about whenever someone's like: … and my mom really got to like your podcast too! Dan: This is really exciting that one guy, your friend, who always shows up at live shows and asks — Elliott: Always asks what order we'd be in! Dan: Every time. Elliott: Or like, what order the Ninja Turtles would be in, or something.
- — Episode 226: Max Steel @05:45